top of page
Search

The Not a Self-Help Blog

Writer's picture: Melissa HuberMelissa Huber

I have a confession to make. I have struggled the majority of my life with doing too much to ensure my worth. I have always just wanted to be important and to matter. While in my everyday life, I am satisfied and most of the time feel worthwhile, there is a place deep inside of me that needs to be validated that I am good and valuable. While I have accomplished many things and have been involved with things, sometimes to an overwhelming degree, I haven't always done those things for the right reasons. I was seeking worth! I love that God says in Romans 8:28 that He will work all things together for good for those who love Him. This even includes my misguided endeavors. I never needed to prove my worth to God because He is the one who created me! I try to prove my worth to man, to myself and in doing so, have accomplished much but "what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" (Matthew 16:26 NLT). Today, I confess this and want to do God's will, glorify Him in everything and spread the good news of His gospel.


One dream of mine has been to write a self-help book. I figured contributing to the field of psychology by publishing a book would be a great way to BE important. But my goal to write a self-help book was derailed when God expressed to me that by definition, self-help excluded Him from our lives. Self-help is a kind of antichrist. Oxford Language defines self-help as "the use of one's own efforts and resources to achieve things without relying on anyone else." You see how God is taken out of the equation here!?! My dream of writing a self-help book was dashed to pieces and I was gloriously happy about it! John 15:5 clearly states that apart from Christ, I (and you) can do nothing. No room for self-help here. It is either that I believe Jesus is the Vine and I am the branch or I continue along the path of self-help where I can do nothing and lose my soul in the process.


I remember a time before this gift of truth when I couldn't comprehend what it meant to give things to God, to stop doing, to realize it isn't me but Christ in me who does the work. I couldn't conceptualize it. It was even almost physically painful, my head would throb trying to understand. My neuropathways were wired to constantly lean on my own understanding to figure things out. Now, I am reminded of a cycling exercise video that I used to do where, we as a class, were imaginarily riding through the Swiss Alps. It was a long, hard but beautiful ride. At about the point where I would begin to think that I couldn't go any farther, the instructor would say "Now, put your head down and go to work!" Oh my hell, my legs were burning. I would do just what she said, I would put my head down and go to work. And when I finished, I felt sooo satisfied. My hard work paid off. I completed the ride. My legs were tired but I had pushed through. Guess how long that feeling of satisfaction lasted? Ya, not long. And then, I'd need to do the ride again.


This is how I have lived the majority of my life, believing that I was the one doing the work and then feeling temporarily satisfied. Do you know what feelings come when you can't do the work or when you believe you have fallen short of the work you should do? Gut wrenching disappointment, guilt and even shame. My friends, the good news is that I (and you) can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (and you) (Philippians 4:13)! This website and this blog will be the place where I talk about the truths that God has shown me about His help. How refreshing to know that when the Son sets you free, you are free indeed (John 8:36). I have spent far too many years trying to help myself and others when Jesus is our helper, our healer, the author and finisher of our faith. I'd love to have you join me on this journey. Remember for today that the world would have you believe that God only helps those who help themselves but the Word tells us...I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, so that He may be with you forever; the Helper is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him; but you know Him because He remains with you and will be in you (John 14:16-17 NASW).

94 views4 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Stuck in the Middle?

There is something about being in the middle that is comforting. You know, mediocre, middle. Not too far on one side or the other. Not...

Thanksgiving!

I wanted to tell you all that I am grateful for Jesus! Behold the man (John 19:5). It is by grace alone that we are saved and as Jesus...

4 Comments


Mindy Martin
Mindy Martin
Nov 11, 2021

Very well written; so simple yet profound!

Like

mandy.caldwell35
Nov 11, 2021

This is the message I really needed to hear today Missy. Thank you

Like
Melissa Huber
Melissa Huber
Nov 11, 2021
Replying to

You’re welcome Mandy. A message for us all!

Like

jansilvious.coaching
Nov 10, 2021

Great job, Dr. Missy! I love this.

Like

Contact Me

For any questions you have, you can reach me here:

Sat on the Rocks

Missy Huber, Psy.D., LCSW

388 West 100 North

Vernal, UT 84078

801-989-7144

drmissyhuber@gmail.com

  • YouTube
  • Instagram

Thanks for submitting!

© 2021 by Dr. Missy Huber

bottom of page